[jokes] Computer Tech Support Calls...

Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.

Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?



Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.

Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.



Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....





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Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female custome r: A white one...



Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.

Customer : Your left or my left?





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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?

Male customer : Hello... I can't print.



Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...

Customer : Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.





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Customer : Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...





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Customer: I have problems printing in red...

Tech support: Do you have a color printer?



Customer: Aaaah....... ......... ....thank you.





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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.





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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.

Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?



Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.

Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back



Customer: OK



Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?

Customer: Yes



Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?

Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...





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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.

Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?





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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?



Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?



Customer: Five stars.





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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?

Customer: Netscape.



Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.

Customer : Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.





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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.





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Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.



Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?





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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?



Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."





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And last but not least...





Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager"

Customer: I don't have a P.



Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: What do you mean?



Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!